I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
