He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
