I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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