dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
