I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
