When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
