I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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