Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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