all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
