I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
