i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
