escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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