Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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