I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
