It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
