I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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