Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
