Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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