Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize