Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
