We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
