dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
