I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
