Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
