if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
