I wish my penis had an off switch
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
