I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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