I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
