Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
