I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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