so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have demons in me.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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