she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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