dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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