you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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