hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
