I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
