Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
