my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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