Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
