he shaved USA in his pubs
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Randomize
