The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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