I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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