I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
