i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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