Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
pop tarts are not kleenex
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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