sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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