Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
