I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
