Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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