im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize