i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
