What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize