it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
