could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
