I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
