i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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