I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
