You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
