hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
